I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
