my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
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I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
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The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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