i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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