I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
