if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
