My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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