He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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