i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize