He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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