You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
