You just made me feel so damn special
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
