I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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