So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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