Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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