Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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