dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
