You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
