; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I wish I could teleport
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
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So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
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I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.