dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard