I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
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I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
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You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies