Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Whod you bang

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  (313): Whod you bang http://tfl.nu/rw3i
  Replies (7) Good night (2840) Bad night (1018)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  so now she's a stripper

  (1-281): View more from Texas

  can't say i'm surprised

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  (281): so now she's a stripper (1-281): can't say i'm surprised http://tfl.nu/r749
  Replies (7) Good night (2220) Bad night (622)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno

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  (518): i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno http://tfl.nu/fv58
  Replies (29) Good night (654) Bad night (2967)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm

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  (615): i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm http://tfl.nu/dyx8
  Replies (28) Good night (5137) Bad night (766)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.

  (361): View more from Texas

  I just can't bring boyfriends home.

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  (361): yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable. (361): I just can't bring boyfriends home. http://tfl.nu/mnpp
  Replies (29) Good night (1229) Bad night (4768)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You make your fellow Jews happy.

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  (412): I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more. (1-412): You make your fellow Jews happy. http://tfl.nu/gpio
  Replies (16) Good night (6507) Bad night (1225)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again

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  (+44): we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again http://tfl.nu/6h6m
  Replies (13) Good night (3772) Bad night (1116)
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  (626): View more from California

  Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.

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  (626): Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment. http://tfl.nu/ewer
  Replies (10) Good night (2888) Bad night (1272)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.

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  (316): He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed. http://tfl.nu/yb8r
  Replies (5) Good night (2447) Bad night (845)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.

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  (608): A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood. http://tfl.nu/4fl8
  Replies (7) Good night (2243) Bad night (1897)
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  (818): View more from California

  She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"

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  (818): She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas" http://tfl.nu/kk50
  Replies (13) Good night (4327) Bad night (959)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.

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  (612): She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity. http://tfl.nu/b3pk
  Replies (18) Good night (1067) Bad night (1459)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.

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  (252): If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech. http://tfl.nu/hajp
  Replies (7) Good night (2000) Bad night (616)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.

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  (419): Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate. http://tfl.nu/uh2w
  Replies (3) Good night (577) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!

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  (954): Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up! http://tfl.nu/2rk8
  Replies (0) Good night (248) Bad night (401)

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