Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
