my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
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don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
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we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.