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• (214): View more from Texas

  I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band

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• (786): View more from Florida

  Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  She went from zero to smokin in five shots

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Pass out mid-funnel last night.

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  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH

  (360): View more from Washington

  Yes

  (253): View more from Washington

  O.K.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?

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• (512): View more from Texas

  That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.

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• 

  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

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• (360): View more from Washington

  You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.

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• (661): View more from California

  Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies

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