I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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