found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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