It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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