that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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