Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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