Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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