He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
