His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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