Dude my mom stole all your condoms
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
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