It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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