Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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