how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
only if we run a train.
done.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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