So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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