I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
