I don't think brook has ever known best
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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