when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I stole a fireplace last night.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
