I am in a vortex of obligation.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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