I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
