do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
