Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Randomize
