That's intense
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
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I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
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It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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