Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
