Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
There's always time for handjobs
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
