Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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