umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
handjob tips. give me some.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
