Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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