there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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