I CAN MOONWALK!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
