as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
