He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize