Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
