She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
