so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
