so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
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For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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