Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize