You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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