HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
