i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
