Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
