I pooped in a mop bucket.
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed