Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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