Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
