So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
