in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
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You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
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I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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