I'm gonna have a badass scar
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
