Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
