i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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