I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
