I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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